The solution to your problems

There is nobody or nothing in this world that can solve all our problems! So, we shouldn’t waste our time looking for that! If things are bothering us, then we are our biggest problem. Thoughts don’t come; anger doesn’t come; irritation doesn’t come to us. We create those. Since we create those, only we can remove them by removing the importance we give to ourselves.

Learn what needs to change within you to handle yourself better. Learn how you can sail through life without much resistance and have more openness! Then anyone can help. Else, no one can! We are all here for the same purpose, i.e. learning! Not flatter ourselves or our egos! If talking for hours would solve problems, we’d have no problems at all by now. Understanding yourself and breaking down your ego will help solve your problems. Look for someone who can help you dismantle your ego, not soothe it and instigate it further. Don’t look for people who are interested in listening to your problems. If anyone is interested in your problems, it is unhealthy. Look for people who are interested in YOU! Then they can guide you towards your well-being. Stop giving undue importance to yourself and your problems and expecting others also to do that. If you want to help yourself, be a good listener. Most problems are solved if you shut the mind and open your heart. 

Don’t believe that anyone can heal you or hurt you! Only you can do that for yourself. The illusions that we believe create the miseries that we experience. Detach yourself from yourself. Look at yourself from a far off place – we are all a small speck of dirt! Nothing more! We have a temporary abode. Then how can our problems have a permanent residence? It’s a short life. The choice we have is to either live in the illusion of misery or experience freedom. Don’t look for long term associations with therapists. Don’t create dependencies that chain you to believing that you are insufficient or good because someone reinforces that for you.

You are the creator’s creation, and He has made no mistake in creating you. It is left up to you to recognise the innate goodness in you and around you. Be open to learning from everyone without chaining or getting chained. It’s okay to fall. But never choose to stay down. You may need momentary help to get back on your feet. But don’t expect anyone to teach you how to walk all over again just because you fell. Your fall has given you more experience yourself if you are open to learning from your mistakes. Avoid feeling sorry for yourself. You don’t need it. All of life is an experience. The monsters and the heroes of your life are all your creation. Exaggerated perceptions create exaggerated effects on us. We kill mosquitoes and ants, which doesn’t affect us as much – because they are tiny creations, perhaps. But even if someone hurts us, it affects us a lot. Because we have a larger than life, exaggerated perception of ourselves. It doesn’t help! Imagine if we look at ourselves as ants or that speck of dirt, most problems wouldn’t even arise. When we minimise everything else, we maximise our awareness. When we maximise our awareness, we develop the ability to view everything in perspective. That’s when you solve all your problems yourself!

If you observe what you feel, it will pass.

If you identify with what you feel, it will affect you. 

No one can hurt you. They can only make you get in touch with the hurt that’s already within you!

No one can irritate you. They can only make you realise the irritation that’s already within you!

No one can make you feel loved. They can only make you recognise the love that’s already within you. 

No one can make you feel anything that isn’t already a part of you. If you are feeling it, it is already within you. They just helped you get in touch with what’s within. Thank them for it!

If you don’t like what you are feeling, change what’s within you! Then no matter what happens outside, what you feel inside will be what you want to feel.

What to do when someone is refusing to learn their lesson

Are you well-fed or hungry? – Master Yourself

A must-listen for a very important ingredient for growth in life.

1. Are you well-fed or hungry? 06:13
2. An inspiring story of hope in the corporates 05:53
3. When life's not fair 04:39
4. What to do when someone is refusing to learn… 06:54
5. Knowledge is not power unless you have this 07:49

There are no good deeds?!

How to keep yourself motivated when you aren’t accepted

Do you realize that you don’t often like things that are necessarily good for you? What you like is often different from what’s good. Right? Likewise, appreciation from others, likes on social media, rewards, etc aren’t necessarily things that denote whether you are good or not. What appeals to people isn’t what’s good. What appeals to people is what they like. Now, why do people like something? There could be several reasons for it :

• an emotional connect 
• A value-based connect
• A feel-good factor
• A need for favor 
• A need to be liked 
• Social hierarchy driving the need 
• Your product meets their need or gap 
• And lastly, if the ego issues among their own selves permit them to like it

Good or bad is always a relative measure. There’s nothing entirely good or bad. Based on each person’s personal standards, it differs. Something that might be exceptional for one stratum of society might be looked down upon by other strata. Something that might look path-breaking for people of certain educational background, might look too hi-fi or irrelevant for people from a different educational background. 

Even language plays an important role – if someone understands a language very well, they might appreciate your choice of words and diction. But they don’t, they might find it difficult to connect with your fluency. Worse still, it might just appear like you are showing off. And hence, become a reason for disconnect! However, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are bad or someone else is better.

It’s important to meet people where they are! But it is also important to not relinquish your standards permanently while doing so. Nor should you look down at others. Everyone is where they are to serve a reason or purpose in their life. Meet people where they are. And once done, get back to where you are, or where you need to be in your pursuit of excellence.

The judgment of good and bad are need-based, value-based, and emotion-based. 

Keep doing what you are doing. Don’t compare yourself to others’ standards, likes, rewards, or acceptance. There is a place for each of us and our individual excellence to thrive in this world. It’s not a number game. It’s different based on what you do when you do, how you do and society’s readiness for the some. Most people who we revere today weren’t accepted or acknowledged even, during their times. However, today we look up to them as exceptional contributors to our existence.

Keep your purpose clear at all times. Don’t be deterred by these frivolous distractions. Know that you are good – 

• because you have tried
• because you have given in your best
• because you are doing what you are doing for a higher good
• because you are not giving up. You keep at it

If you know that much, auto-certify yourself that you are good. And don’t worry, you won’t become complacent. You will be confident, motivated, and driven. You will refrain from being demotivated by negative stressors from the outside environment. You’ll be happy!

Having said that there’s no absolute measure for whether you are good or not, there’s a definite measure for when one is excellent and exceptional. This is easy – when you are an authority in your field – you know it inside-out, you are open for challenges not to prove your knowledge but to get some facts out into the world for the larger benefit of humankind – now you know and most will agree that you are exceptional.  

But not many actually get to that level. The biggest reason being – they get demotivated at the likes and dislikes milestone itself. To be exceptional, one needs to have big-picture thinking. That will help you look beyond the temporary criticisms, ego clashes, social acceptance, and other such things. No great things were built in a day or a year. Excellence takes a ton of practice, a hell-of-a-lot of perseverance, an open mind, and an ego that is ready to fail fast and learn fast. Sometimes, acceptance may not come while you are alive. But trust that if your heart has indicated you to be on a path, and your mind has persevered to stay on it – there must be a divine reason for the collective good of humanity. Someone, somewhere out there must be needing it. And it will be their guiding light. So, let your light shine at all costs! There’s no room for fear. There’s no room for doubt. There’s no possibility of a failure that doesn’t offer you immense learning. Trust yourself! We all have a place in this world – in the highest sense of the word. Believe it! Take it! Live it! And love it!

The biggest myth about confidence

Is that it comes from certainty of knowing you are right! We couldn’t be further from the truth. Being too sure that we are right, doesn’t denote confidence. It denotes something else.

It is important to never be too sure that you are right.

Be happy that you are giving your best. But don’t be too sure. If you are too sure, you won’t be open to other perspectives or other ways of doing what you are doing. You will get stagnated and sometimes even start rotting. And that feeling of being right makes you want to defend yourself to such an extent that you will be constantly fighting battles with the world. Eventually, whether you win those battles or not, you may not be happy since you are constantly fighting battles. You may just feel drained out and sometimes, frustrated even!

Confidence doesn’t come from getting things right or believing that you are doing right. Confidence means trusting oneself and one’s abilities. TRUST means reliability. Self-confidence means you are ready to rely on yourself any day because you trust that you have the capacity to learn, you have the capacity to change, you have the ability to find your way out of situations and you trust that life is constantly shaping you for your highest good.

A truly confident person has the least resistance or reluctance. They are ready to flow because they know nothing can break them or damage them. Even if something goes wrong, they trust that they can build themselves back.

A lot of people who believe they are right, don’t have confidence. That belief, if anything, makes us become arrogant (for lack of a better word). They demonstrate too much strength for the fear of being broken. It’s like a fragile bubble. They are more fearful of being proved wrong. Hence, they have a strong guard, trying to protect themselves from anyone or anything that might cause any damage to their perception, or their belief about themselves. And it’s all unconscious fears and patterns that make us be so.

A confident person is okay to be proven wrong because they see their learning in it. They are not judging themselves. They are observing and learning.

It’s like a good mother and child relationship – a mother loves her child no matter how it looks, or what it does. It is unwavering. A mother believes in her child and constantly encourages the child to realise its potential. Never doubts it based on achievements and failures. Is able to see beyond the external measures. A mother recognises the inner beauty and inner strength of the child. Can you be that mother to your own self? Can you truly understand and acknowledge yourself as a deeper human being beyond your world achievements or social stature? Can you be kind to yourself? Can you let go of the need to prove knowing that you are already accepted? Can you believe that you are unique with unique gifts that you can offer to the world? You don’t have to be better than anybody. You have to give your best every moment. And for that – you have to trust yourself. If you can, then confidence is yours!

To evaluate something, this is the quality you need to possess

And that is RESPECT for that thing or that person.

You can’t evaluate anything that you don’t respect. Because then you aren’t evaluating, you are being biased already.

Whether you are evaluating yourself, someone else, movies, situations, or anything for that matter, if you don’t have respect as the top-most value, then it is best to refrain from evaluating. Since you are evaluating to judge, not to understand, and your judgment may be detrimental.

Respect the process, respect the background, respect that there’s a lot that would have gone into creating what you see in front of you now. 

You also have to understand that your evaluation has the capacity to break someone. And hence, be mindful never to do that. If you are evaluation isn’t helping, then it is of no use really. 

When I used to watch movies in the past, I used to judge actors based on looks, on the movie based on acting and simply come to a judgment saying – “How can someone make such a bad movie.”

When I look back at all those today, I am aghast! How could I have made such harsh judgments? No one decides to make a bad movie. They put in a ton of efforts to make a great movie. But it didn’t turn out that way for various reasons – like lack of idea, understanding, skill, finances or other such things. By being so vain in judging them, I have made no better use of my own life either! How could I comment on someone’s looks? Would it be okay if someone did that to me or someone I love? Just because someone is a public personality, doesn’t mean we have the right to talk rubbish about them and pass off our entire internal poison on them through our judgments. This has been a huge learning for me – that respecting anything is most important before I set out to evaluate. 

And as I say this, I am also aware that in the process, I shouldn’t be harsh on myself. I have observed that I did that. And I understand that I can do better. So, being harmfully critical isn’t going to make me do any better. How can someone do better when they feel bitter. So take care of yourself. Understand that anything you have done was out of ignorance. Now that you know better, choose better. Likewise, empower others too. No one wakes up deciding to be terrible. We all wake up wanting to be wonderful. Let’s help each other be that!

3 things that increase problems

There are 3 things that fuel problems to grow:

1. Inability to notice the smaller warnings – Majority of our problems would have had indicators or small warnings beforehand. We don’t take action for all the smaller indications, which turn to warnings and eventually translate into dangers. If we wait for indicators to convert to dangers, that’s when life seems out of control. If you are overwhelmed with work, what could you have done differently? Could you have planned or organised yourself any better? Could you have sought help or delegated earlier? When we wait till the last minute, we don’t leave ourselves enough response time. That’s when we get into react or panic mode.

2. Inability to isolate. Our capacity to blow things out of proportions and spill them in all areas. Viewing things in perspective is a great skill that one must have at all times in life. When we aren’t viewing things in perspective, we may be generalising things and bundling them up together. We fail to see what’s unique about a situation. And unless we see what the situation demands, we can’t possibly do what is required. Hence, it is very important to not pile up things and view our life itself like a disaster.

• Saying things like ‘my life is a mess’ – might create a feeling of being overwhelmed. And hence, lesser energy to deal with it. Instead, pin point the issue. There could be several – but pick the key issue that can help resolve or restore balance to the rest too.
• Make a list of your blessings or things that are working in your life (including things like your health, eyes, nose, ears, hands, legs, family, friends, or whatever else it may be). Don’t take them for granted. When you count your blessings, you can also leverage them to deal with your problems. If you forget to notice the blessings you might take them for granted or, lose them too in the process.

3. Lack of responsibility or ownership – We think the problem is because of someone else. Or someone else has to change for the problem to disappear from our life. In doing so, we are failing to recognise how we may have played a role in creating the problem and how we are playing a role in continuing the problem too. There’s always something we can do about all of the problems that we face in life. The most important one being, learning from the problem instead of pitying ourselves. Every problem is offering a unique learning to us. Doesn’t matter who caused it or how it started. The fact that we find ourselves in it now is an indicator that we have something to learn from it. So it is important to take complete ownership of our learning. Only when we are ready to learn, will we also find out what needs to be done differently from our end towards solving the problem. The more we blame others for our problems, the less we’ll be able to do something about it. Own your life.

And lastly, comparing our lives to others also can cause more heart burn. Others’ lives aren’t better necessarily. They only look so from where we stand. Each have their own share to deal with. Spending much time on social media doesn’t help. It is better to be actively involved in our lives than passively interested in others’.

People will understand you if …

Context gives meaning to help us get the right feeling. Man is a meaning-making machine. While we can’t stop it or control it, we can influence it in the right direction. Blaming others for not understanding us will not solve the problem. There is something that we can do that will help others understand us better.

In a recent training, one of the delegates wanted herself to be excused from something the whole group wanted to do. While it was optional to participate, still she took the time to explain why she wanted to be excluded. As soon as she did, we were all more understanding of her and gladly remained gracious towards her request. Else, perhaps each would have assumed a reason or made a judgment/meaning that may or may not have been in her favor. And by explaining, she didn’t have to disclose all her life’s details. She just mentioned that she had a lot going on right now. And that was enough in that setting.

Some of us are very tight-lipped when it comes to our life in the name of privacy. We don’t consider it important for us to explain the why behind what we do. So we land up being misunderstood. That’s the price to be paid. However that’s not the worst part, the worst part is we hold others responsible, or the world to be insensitive and incapable of understanding for our lack of commitment towards make ourselves understood.

We say no to people easily, we reject proposals, we refuse invitations to connect, we don’t reply to calls and messages – and after doing all that – we push the other person under the bus saying they don’t have the capacity or maturity to understand us.

It’s not that we have to divulge every single detail of our personal life in order to be understood. But it is helpful to have some amount of self-disclosure that will help others get an idea or context to us so that they understand us better. Don’t decide beforehand, who deserves to know and who doesn’t. We never know who’s capable of understanding how much unless we give them a chance.

If we have someone who repeatedly fails to understand despite several attempts from our end to explain, then there are 2 things we could consider –

1. the way we are explaining isn’t working so try something else.
2. Or, this person has some disconnect with us for which they refuse to want to understand us.

So, we can either try and sort out the differences, or if the other person is not open for it, stop trying too hard to explain since they have made up their mind to not mend it or understand it further.

But a vast majority of people demonstrate the capacity to understand better if given the appropriate context. No one knows your story unless you say it. And no one can tell your story better than you too!

• Also, this is not only about personal disclosure. This is about generally giving a context. For example, if you have the decision making authority, it would be good to give the context of where you are coming from and what makes you take such a decision. Doing so will help people come along with you more willingly.
• Or, if you have to say no to someone, give them an understanding of what makes you say no.
• If you have a disconnect, help them understand why you are unable to get their point.
• If somethings don’t go too well with you, enable them to understand what about it triggers such a response from you.

• Love is another area where we sometimes take it for granted. We assume that if someone loves us, they have to understand us at all costs, whether or not we make any effort towards making ourselves understood. Well, glad if they do. And they may be doing so for the most part. But how about making it easy for them a bit? Share what’s happening so that they understand more easily. The reason is, everyone has a ton going on in their life. If we are expecting others to understand without us putting in any efforts, we are expecting them to drop their lives and spend time guessing what may be happening in our lives and then understand. Sometimes, people can do that, at other times, they can’t, depending on how much is going on at their end.

People don’t have to be of a certain intellectual caliber to understand us. We just have to leverage our emotional intelligence to take the responsibility of making ourselves understood. Having rapport with close friends is easy. If we say ‘only my close friends truly know who I am and understand me’ – that means we may be a closed book for everyone else. Too cautious, too guarded, and perhaps too afraid of being judged too. Operating out of much fear can be detrimental to our mental and physical well-being. And for those who fear being judged, others are going to judge anyway – if you provide the context, they might make better judgments/meanings that understand you.

Besides, imagine the time and effort that you spend in giving explanations and justifications to clear a misunderstanding! It takes much less on your part to proactively provide the context  beforehand.

9 tips to develop confidence

Confidence is that ornament that only you can make for yourself. No amount of social acceptance, name, fame, power, money can give you something that’s truly an inner quality that you can build for yourself. There are several distractions though, that come in the way of building your own confidence. Just like if you were to build a house. Here are a few tips that help us steer clear of things that damage our building. As you know, your confidence influences how the world sees you. If you don’t believe in yourself, others will find it even harder to believe in you. Hence, it is so important to build our building first. And it isn’t rocket science. If you operate with enough awareness, you should see yourself build a beautiful sense of self for yourself pretty quickly: 

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. You aren’t here to be better than or worse than anyone. You are here to explore yourself. Compare to learn, not to judge (read a blog on comparison here).
2. Don’t judge yourself. Observe and improve. Judging is to evaluate and say good or bad. It pulls down confidence. To observe means to notice and see if it’s working or not and figure out what changes need to be made. 
3. Stop listening excessively to others’ opinions of you. Everyone has a perspective. It doesn’t mean they are right. It is just another perspective. Have a perspective of your own and value it because it is yours.
4. Don’t seek validation or approval from others. The more you seek, the more elusive it is. People’s validation is not a certificate for you since it represents their state of mind and their thought process. Do things for the joy of doing it. Not because you expect someone to applaud or recognise you for it. When you do things for the love of it, you’ll do your best and you’ll know it. And that’s when you’ll be happy with what you do. The biggest geniuses in the world were not approved by the world because they were extraordinary and it takes an extraordinary mindset to recognise another extraordinary mind. Some extraordinary things need time to be accepted. 
5. You aren’t here to be perfect. You are here to progress. Just because you don’t know something well, like a language or a skill, doesn’t mean you can’t be confident. Be confident always of your ability to learn. Not your current level of skill. Skills can always be improved if you are confident of yourself as a learner. See if you are making incremental progress every day. That’s what counts. Not perfection. The need for being perfect has stopped many from getting started on their dream projects. It’s always progress that is important. Incremental progress each day will pave the way for perfection someday. Don’t wait! Just get started and embrace learning and progress versus perfection. 
6. Be happy that you are making mistakes, because at least you know that way you are trying. Mistakes aren’t to be frowned upon. There is no human in this world who has ever learned a thing without making a mistake. Mistakes aren’t bad. If it is intentional, then that’s something to watch out for. But otherwise, if your intentions were right, find ways to correct that mistake. If someone doesn’t forgive you, that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. An end of a relation doesn’t necessarily mean you are terrible. It means you are not working out together. Besides, there’s no human who goes through life without entries and exits of relationships. At all points, see what is it that you can do to make things better. 
7. Don’t blame others – one sure-shot way of losing confidence is by holding others responsible for your life. You will never get the confidence to change your life if you constantly blame others for it. Take charge, take responsibility for whatever happened because it is your life – and you can’t be the victim in your own story. You are a hero – whether you see it or not right now! Rise to be the hero of your own story rather than spending time being the side-kick in someone else’s story. 
8. Don’t measure yourself the way the world wants to measure success. Have your own measures. Having a house, education, degrees, jobs, marriage, kids, the brand of your vehicle, etc. don’t define you. They are still objects at the end of the day. Anything has as much value as you attach to it. Ask yourself are you attaching value to things based on what’s your reality or others’? And at the end of each day, see what is it that you can be grateful for. Is there anything that’s really bothering you today? Tomorrow can be taken care of when you reach there. But if today is okay or some things are okay, be grateful for it. You can never lack confidence when you notice what’s right with you and your life.
9. Remember life is too short. Anything that’s bothering you, ask yourself will it matter if the world was going to end today? Most things that we get worked up about, aren’t things that actually matter to us in the long run. Like someone’s judgment of us, or an unsuccessful attempt, etc. These aren’t the kind of things that people pay attention to when we die too. They only think of the good in us. 

To improve your confidence, the biggest thing to be aware of is what’s impacting it right now. That should be the starting point. Once you are aware of what’s impacting, you can coach yourself by asking if it is really that important to lose your confidence over it. Nothing in life is worth losing yourself really.

Why do we dramatise our lives…

Why do you think these days we have an increasing need to dramatize our life and the problems and post them like heroic stories on social media?
Is it the need to establish ourselves as heroes? Or is it the need to gain attention?
Why do we have this need to establish ourselves as heroes?
Is it to feel good about ourselves? To reassure our egos that we are doing well?
What if we don’t dramatize the problems? What difference would it make to our lives?
What if we don’t try to grab every opportunity (or problem) to project ourselves as over-rated heroes of our own stories?
Do we need to inflate ourselves to that degree to get through life?

Just wondering how did our parents get through without the over dramatization and without these heroic projections?
They remained grounded I suppose. That meant, the highs and lows of life could touch them – but not break them – since they never thought it made them into some super hero as well.
While we, on the other hand, make huge things of ourselves, so we get caught up in every problem that comes up and want to either play the dramatized victim or the emphasised hero. We try really hard to project someone else as the villain or try even harder to project ourselves as the heroes. And we place ourselves in a rather fragile bubble of greatness. So, anyone who comes close to challenging our heroism or heroic deed is a sinner to be banned and banished from our lives. Else, there’s this perennial fear that they might break us.

In the past, without all these extreme projections, people got along with each other despite issues. Now, in spite of all good things, we can’t seem to stand each other, because each story can have only one hero – the megastar – and we can’t dream of sharing that space with anyone else – hence, we have to make villains of the rest – so we can make the hero of ourselves or someone who we absolutely love. This is not to say that we should stop appreciating ourselves or our beloved ones. By all means we should, but without dramatizing and blowing things out of proportions. If we absolutely love ourselves or someone close to us – can we still continue loving the rest of the world? Or will that excess love towards one person stop us from connecting with the rest of them, or even worse, hate them from not being similar?

And that’s the flip side of making ourselves or our loved ones heroes – we are unable to appreciate others. We feel if we appreciate someone else, we may not be considered good enough. So, we stick to appreciating ourselves. We don’t want to be inspired and appreciative of all the others since we are THE HEROES according to us. Like the old story of the lion and the hunter – unless the lion learns to tell it’s story, the stories will always glorify the hunters.

The other flip side is – we are tending to be super secretive – and act as if we are burdened by the world’s biggest problems that we can’t openly talk about. You’ll find a quite a few this way – who keep walking with pumpkin faces, and you ask them, “What’s wrong?” And they reply rather glumly, “Nothing!” (With an expression that shows “EVERYTHING is wrong!”). And they add on to say, “I don’t want to talk about it!” Why be so secretive? Because the stories aren’t that big, we realise. Rather than tell the story to others and let them realise how trivial are the things that we are holding on, we want to be secretive and make people assume we have these big monstrous, unthinkable, unimaginable and un-talk-able problems that we are having to dealing with.

Are we by any chance thinking that dramatizing our stories and sharing them will inspire others to get through their life stories too? Well, if you see, the actual real heroes have never really publicised their trials or spoken big about themselves. They were humble and grateful. They tell a story without making themselves as the big hero – and more importantly, without making any person or any situation the big villain too. They talk about everything with a great sense of neutrality . No extreme love or hatred to anyone or anything . Those are the ones that actually inspire us. The dramatized stories might only teach people how to inflate their egos momentarily, if at all, and not much else.

Or are we generally addicted to dramas because that’s what gains popularity in reality shows, movies, tele-series? What is it about dramas that attracts us to that degree? Yes, we face rejections, we face failure, we face loss, we face isolation and so on. But that’s true of any life – not just you and me but humans in general. Life’s purpose is about moving ahead and finding our learnings.

Instead of living in pretentious bubbles of greatness, how about living in solid houses of reality & gratitude? Bubbles are fragile. We run the risk of it being broken and hence, we tend to be more guarded. We spend half our time trying to protect it. Or, because it is fragile, anyone can break it easily so we tend to get angry, upset or frustrated with people for breaking our bubbles.

I am sure our grandfathers had a lot tougher times than us. They had to walk for kilometres to get to a school. Our grandmothers had to really struggle to cook food. Nothing was easy for them. Compared to that.- a vast majority of our lives are a lot easier than those of our ancestors, thanks to technology and thanks to evolution. Rather than being grateful for our blessings, we choose to make heroic stunts out of everyday challengesand make ourselves look like ‘larger than life’ figures. It’s time to move towards gratitude without complaining or gloating about how we got here. We can’t be counting our problems and talking of ’sacrifices’! Everything we did, we chose to do! Either because doing it was important for us or the other person was important to us or we were ridden by fear. After doing it, we can’t now call them sacrifices. They are all choices. And there’s nothing wrong with being normal human beings. We don’t all have to be heroes and victims. Stuff happens in life and we learn to move on. That’s just how life works. No life is lesser or more. We need to choose between being a melodramatic hero versus a regular, happy individual who is capable of spreading happiness to others around too. We don’t need to keep proving ourselves to some make-believe human measures. We don’t need to move mountains to contribute to the world we live in. Just smile and make the day lighter for ourselves and others, and consider that a day well-spent.

Narmada Rao

Psychologist, NLP Trainer & Author

www.masteryourself.in

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