No one needs to show us that which we can see for ourselves!
Truth is not for interpretation. Truth is not for convenience.
The real truth can liberate and awaken You!
And to see it, one has to be bravely vulnerable.
If someone were to tell you that you are putting on weight or, you seem to be getting irritated quickly, or you are very egoistic, or you brag too much – how would that be? Definitely not the nicest of things to hear, isn’t it? These are things that we are perhaps better off realizing for ourselves rather than others pointing it out.
No one should ever have to show us a mirror. A mirror is something that we can see for ourselves. They can show us something that we truly don’t know. But not something that we already know deep within but don’t wish to see or acknowledge.
Facing the truth can be liberating. It enables us to effectively deal with what we have to deal. Lying to ourselves and others or masking the truth, takes us away from the real issue and hence, makes the solution-finding that much difficult.
By not being true to myself I am choosing to be powerless and without choices to do anything about the issue.
Take an example; let’s say I fought with my friend. If I don’t face the truth, I can easily say things that may please my ego or blame my friend/others/situation/destiny for what happened. However, if I have the courage to face the truth, I wouldn’t be playing the blame game. I will have the guts to say here’s where I went wrong too and it will give me the strength to course correct and do what’s right for me and my friend.
When I distort reality and misrepresent facts to speak in my favor, it may momentarily help. But in the long run, it catches up with a heavy price that I may have to pay.
If you have the strength to face it, face it now than later
If you have the power to heal, heal yourself now than later
If you have wronged someone, ask for forgiveness now than later
If you have the strength to forgive, forgive now than later
If you can do something, do it now than later
Later is for those who can’t face the Now
Now is where is the power to change, accept and move-on.
Now is for those who can. And there really isn’t anyone who can’t.
Truth is not about being abrasive. It’s about being brave and vulnerable at the same time. The real truth is the one that liberates and awakens YOU, not others. Every person has to face their own truth. For that, it is important to be true about the real truth than our version of it. The facts of a matter, matter! Not the interpretations of it. A truth that is based on convenience is no truth at all!
There are certain obvious benefits of problems. Sounds ironic? Let’s explore. After going through life’s rigmarole, it suddenly dawned on me with utmost clarity as to how much I have benefited with all the problems that I have faced so far.
One of the beliefs of excellence in NLP states that every problem has a solution. To expand on it, there are at least 3 things that happen when we face a problem. One – we find ways to solve it. Two – if don’t come close to solving a problem, we find creative ways to work around it. Three – if both of the above don’t happen – we LEARN something valuable. Think of the problem that you may have faced and check which of the three happened. It does ring a bell, doesn’t it? Now there’s a difference between imaginary problems and real problems. When we imagine problems, what we become good at is ‘worrying’. When we face real problems, what we become good at is ‘solving’. (And you know which is empowering).
It’s true though that at the time of the problem, I may not have been this wise to see the bright side of things. But over a period of time, whenever I revisited a problem time, I realized I have grown so much as a person and learnt so much from it. As a result, I now start thinking what learning could this experience be offering me, at the outset. Thinking this way has helped me stay calm and relaxed in troubled times. Also, the positive belief that something good always comes out of everything enables me to stay solution focused and gives greater confidence to deal with the situation at hand.
One classic example is Phil Hansen, a great artist whose uniqueness was to draw huge portraits with a combination of dots (pointillist drawings, as it is called). He developed a nervous disorder that left his hand with a permanent shake. Doctors said he could never draw a straight line again. Phil was initially disheartened. But later, worked around and decided that if not a straight line, he will draw with crooked lines itself. And he is back to drawing his usual magnificent art works. Take a look for yourself by clicking here.
When we look back a problem, we could do two things – reflect or regret. Reflecting is to healthily look at it and see what we learnt from it and move ahead. Regret is if we constantly feel bad about something that has already happened and either blame ourselves or others for it. This may not be a useful strategy as it only unlocks further un-resourceful states. The more we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their effect.
Look around you and look within you – just see the sheer magic of wonders that we create during problem times. Problems often bring out the best in us. So worry not of a problem that’s here, for it is this problem that’ll get you there, where you always want to be.