I loved you for years, but…

 I loved you for years

I failed to notice the initial signs of when we started falling apart 

Initially when I felt a bad taste I told myself,

“But this is your favourite!

You have been in love almost all your life!”

So I thought maybe it was just the day or the mood.

But then it seemed to prolong.

Time after time , interaction after interaction, I started feeling the same.

I tried ignoring the feeling.

I tried avoiding it.

The more I avoided facing it, the more it stared in my face.

I tried to make peace.

I tried to like you again.

I told myself several times

“This is your love”

So I tried again

Until one day when I couldn’t anymore!

I kept thinking there was something wrong with you all along.

So I tried changing you-

Different aspects of you

But no matter what I tried; I couldn’t get myself to like you.

I thought you changed so much that i couldn’t love you anymore.

Then I realised one day, you were just the same

I liked you for the exact same reasons that I didn’t right now.

I had changed !

And I was trying to change you to suit the tastes of a new me.

But you are just how you were meant to be.

The same green veggie!

I m sorry Bhindi!

It’s just that I couldn’t see! 😁

Are we silent in places where we should speak?

Are we screaming in places where we should be respectful?

Are we tolerating where we could have done something?

Are we frightening where we could have inspired?

Are we laughing where we should have been sensitive?

Are we setting boundaries where we could have set free?

Are we claiming freedom where we should have been responsible?

Are we abusing where we could have been assertive?

Are we blaming where we could have taken responsibility?

Are we thankless when we should have been grateful?

Are we lying where we should have been honest?

Are we judging where we should have understood?

Are we avoiding when we should have been there?

Are we jealous when we should have celebrated?

Are we closing doors when we could have left them open?

Are we doubting our dreams when we should have been following them?

Are we saying “we can’t” where we could have at least tried?

Are we spreading anger in the name of love?

Are we lashing out unable to leash the beast within?

Are we living in the past to avoid the present?

Are we choosing to be asleep for the fear of waking up?

Are we pretending helplessness for the sake of attention?

Are we saying “me too”, to avoid voicing our own thoughts?

Are we shooting from others’ shoulders to shy away from consequences?

Are we trying to rebel unable to come to terms with the chaos within?

Are we saying “we are after all humans” when we could each be a wonderful human?

This isn’t what we wanted to be! This isn’t what we were meant to be either!

Dare to be different! Or care to be different?