Tag Archive | Fear

Feel the freedom of life!

Why would you worry about being shattered, if you can rebuild yourself

Why would you worry about people’s judgment, if you can be kind to yourself

Why would you worry about recognition, if you realize how good you are

Why would you worry about losing someone, if you know to trust yourself

Why would you worry about something going wrong, if you believe you can make it right

Why would you worry about failing, if you are willing to learn from your failures

Why would you worry about future, if you are confident of your present

Why would you worry about falling, if you have the courage to rise every time

Why would you worry about growing old, if you are content with yourself

Why would you worry about dying, if you are living every moment

Why should fear hold you down, if you can touch the skies with faith!

Keep the faith! Trust yourself! Reach for the skies!

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Decision Making – Thoughtful and Fearless

Life’s a lot about making decisions. From what to wear, to where to live, to what to do, we are constantly deciding. At different times, in different situations, we have different factors that determine our decisions. While some decisions are based on logic and reason, some others are based on emotion and responsibility and the like. There are some decisions though, that are based on fear more than anything else. Fear of consequences. Decisions made in fear may not often appeal to the rest of our mind, body and heart because fear has no reason. Fear is a reason-less reason. And there’s a dialogue in a famous Hindi movie that goes something like this – ‘the one who is afraid, shall perish.’

A man once wanted to quit his job and try a business venture of his own. He thought through and spoke to his family. His family was scared about the risks involved. They asked him to stick to the job that gave him a guaranteed fat salary every month. Their fear rubbed on to him (fear sometimes is like a perfume – not exactly a good one albeit – it passes on from the person who has it to the others around too). He gave up his well thought through dream and continued with a job that he didn’t enjoy as much. Now, after years, he still owns his parents’ fear to such an extent that he wouldn’t try his venture even if he has a chance.

Another lady knew how to drive well. But she often heard discouraging comments from her family who mentioned that if something happens, it would be an expensive affair. This unsolicited borrowed fear has been sitting with her ever since and even if there’s an emergency; she prefers to walk, run or take someone’s help rather than get into the car and help herself.

Fear is self-limiting; not self-liberating. Then how can decisions made out of fear have a different effect? Talented people with great skills and wonderful thoughts prevent themselves from writing, with the fear of ‘what if people don’t like what I write’. Fantastic singers refuse to sing in front of others fearing, ‘what if I make a fool of myself’. An educated woman holds herself back from trying for a job after a long gap due to family reasons fearing, ‘what if I don’t have it in me anymore’. Well, these are just fears, not reality. The more we believe in our fears, the greater is the chance that we make them our reality. With every fear, probability theory says that there are 50% chances of things going in your favour too. Follow it up with hard work and confidence, and there you have it! You can convert the 50% to 90% and 100% even. All the ones who succeeded never focused on fear. It wasn’t that they didn’t have fear. It was just that they made a choice to focus on their strengths and confidence than fear.

What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t wear your lucky dress or your lucky ring on your big day? The real substance is within you and it has always been so. It never was in the materials outside of you. If you are doing everything right, and if you feel you are still not getting what you want, may be it is good to explore the beliefs that you hold for yourself. Are they supporting you? Or is there fear? For a person who is fearless, he/she takes everything in their stride and finds valuable learning in all that happens. They march forward with the new learning. They know that they will attain success.  They don’t talk about fear; they don’t live in the fear that their fears shouldn’t come true. Fears come true, only if you believe in them!  You have the potential to make them come true. Just like positive thoughts. So, if you are anyways going to imagine, why not imagine in your favour? When WTC towers collapsed, fear did not prevent the government from re-constructing them. And that’s why we have them again. If you are willing to rise after every fall, your decisions will always stand tall. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? If you have a brilliant thought or desire and a counter-productive fear, stick to the desire rather than drop with the fear.

Fear’s Face-Off

Troubled by troubles? Pause and breathe! For troubles don’t seem to have a mind of their own – they seem to only be interested in knowing whether you’d put up a brave fight or not. If you do, they accept defeat and move away sooner than later.

Here’s a true story – At 39, when this man was diagnosed with acute renal failure, it looked like the world was collapsing on him. He had always been hardworking, with a positive outlook towards life and a healthy lifestyle. This came as a shock. He was initially worried about his wife who was a home-maker and his two little daughters who were 9 and 10. Giving up was not an option. He said to himself, ‘Live I must for my wife and kids. Bring it on!’ Both he and his wife stood firm. Nothing could deter them. They were certain that together they shall see this through. And they did. NothinN dadg was easy. Being in and out of hospitals for the last twenty years was physically, mentally and financially draining. But they continued with a smile on their face. Each time, he had a set-back, he bounced back stronger, proving the doctors wrong. Doctors call it a miracle and the sheer magic of will-power. He continued working like any other normal person for 18 years after the transplant and retired at the age of 58 as the Head of Sales and Marketing in a reputed firm. He was known as a go-getter in his organization and could drive for results that far exceeded their expectations and goals. This couple is an inspiration to many for their strength, determination and ability to laugh during tough times. I am proud to say I am their daughter. I never had to look too far for inspiration or strength.

Likewise, I received some great news today that one of the other brave souls I know, who had been fighting cancer for more than a year, has finally defeated the disease. I salute all those who choose to fight and never give up. They say it is not about the end result, it’s about putting up a brave fight. You will be proud and happy with yourself because you stood firm till the very end. Nothing can kill your spirit unless you give in. And the spirit is what matters. We all know, ‘Fortune favors the brave’.

The only way that a trouble/fear can ever win is if you choose to accept defeat. It does not have a personality of its own that will help it to win. But you do! And you have help in different forms all around you. Seek and you shall find!

In our daily lives, are we ready to face the challenges, our fears, our phobias – fear of future, fear of unknown, fear of failing, fear of pursuing our dream, fear of speaking etc? Can we live fearlessly? Like other emotions, fear is also momentary. Conquer that one moment; take a step towards it and it will start fading. Go ahead – face your fear, and fear will lose its face!